Given the taboos rooted in Western society regarding human sexuality, and these being shrouded by erroneous beliefs and false myths of centennial origin, it is not surprising the lack of sexual knowledge among the population. This is why clinical sex therapists constantly encounter patients who wonder if their situation is “normal” or, on the contrary, not. How, then, to address such a circumstance?
Clinical sexologists know that there is practically nothing “normal” in human sexuality, since to establish limits between what is normal and what is not, we would first have to set some rules, which would require a worldwide population study (something very complicated today given the differences between cultures).
What we do know is that, by nature, human beings are sexed from birth until death, and therefore social pressures and labels are the main culprits in the development of insecurity in the sexual sphere. Bearing this in mind, the goal of sex therapists is to try to make the patient aware, through pedagogical sex education, of the importance of understanding sexuality as an inherent and untransferable part of the human species, without letting external stereotypes and false beliefs influence how it is lived.
Justifying the nature of human sexuality involves including the concept of learning, which explains the existence of as many forms of sexual expression as there are people, tastes, and opinions (caresses, kisses, hugs, words, glances…), as well as that of sexual autonomy, Sexual Right 2 of the Charter of Sexual and Reproductive Rights (<<All people have the right to express and manifest their desires, pleasure, practices, sexual orientation, and identity; to freely decide about their sexual life within a non-discriminatory ethical framework that respects the rights of other people and the evolving capacity of children>>), which means that, taking each person’s tastes and desires as a starting point, to experience our sexuality in a healthy, legal, ethical, and moral way, practices that involve crimes and physical or psychological harm must be discarded.
In short, it must be made clear that what is normal in sex is what each person considers to be to their liking, as long as respect for others is present and the practices do not generate discomfort for oneself or others; after all, the common denominator for everyone is the pursuit of pleasure.