Clinical history. A case of fear of sex during pregnancy:
The couple attending the consultation consists of P. and L., 31 and 29 years old respectively. They have been dating for ten years, married for two years, and six months ago decided to start a family. The relationship began when they were very young. Both came from good families and had a clear direction for their relationship; they wanted to get married and start a family. From the beginning of the relationship, they had understood each other very well sexually. They were honest about what they liked, which made them complement each other very well.
After the summer of 2016, they decided to try for their first child. The news was well received; both were eagerly awaiting it. During the beginning of the pregnancy, the first doubts began to appear, not constant but somewhat bothersome for him. “I didn’t know whether to suggest having sex. I was afraid of seeming selfish. Some days she wasn’t vomiting, and I thought it was my moment, but I didn’t want to, I don’t know… I complicated things myself. I was scared of the idea of being able to harm the baby.” L., his partner, found out about her husband P.’s complaints, which bothered her quite a bit: “Is that the trust we have? I thought we were one. I’m pregnant, but I’m not helpless. It’s okay if I don’t feel like having sex, that’s why I don’t tell you. But what about you? Why don’t you say anything to me? I don’t understand you.” As they talked in the consultation, they began to understand each other. Both verbalize and understand that pregnancy presents some limitations and that they themselves have not known how to manage them.
Treatment proposal. Sexual and Couple Therapy:
- Individual and/or couple therapy. (Evaluate fears)
- Psychoeducation: explanation of fear during pregnancy from a physiological point of view: relaxation (necessary condition) vs anxiety (fear generator).
- Temporary prohibition of intercourse as an anxiety-generating activity to break the vicious cycle of fear.
- Cultivation of fantasies and erotic training.
- Sensory focus level I (objective: “THE WALK”)
- Sensory focus level II
- Genital stimulation
- Non-demanding intercourse
Many people are unaware of the couple’s sexual life during the wait for the baby. Possible risks should be evaluated, but if all goes well, sex can be had until the end of the pregnancy.
Working on myths in consultation and thus banishing all kinds of fears will help the couple relax during pregnancy and enjoy sex without limitations.