Undoubtedly, we have a profession in which the day-to-day focuses on emotions and being in contact with human suffering, making it a very demanding job from this point of view. It is true that therapy is carried out by the patient, but it is we, the psychotherapists, who guide them and bring them closer to emotional well-being. But this does not mean that we are “immune” to difficult moments at work or in our daily lives. Many of us will be familiar with the phrase “but if you are a psychologist, you shouldn’t feel that way” (and its derivatives), constantly invalidating our emotions.
While we teach our patients to approach and cope with their emotions and problems, we must also cope to have greater emotional openness, which translates into more empathy and, in turn, leads to better treatment. Poor emotional management on our part will not only make therapy less beneficial for the patient (and for us, since this relationship is immensely enriching) but will also keep us in constant emotional discomfort. It is very important to learn to take care of ourselves, and that is why today we propose a series of therapeutic tools for the emotional well-being of the psychotherapist:
– An alarm signal that we should take into account when we encounter a difficult case is that we are constantly thinking about that particular patient. We may even have bad nights and see in other patients how to help that particular one. For this, it is very important to remember that each patient is a world and that each one deserves absolutely all our attention.
– Leave your work at the office and avoid taking clinical histories home: giving a case more thought will not do a patient any favors. Keep a specific schedule for your work and tell patients your phone consultation hours. Do not receive calls or messages before or after your hours (today it is very easy to “get hooked” on work and communication with our patients) and, if you can, have your personal number and a specific one for your work. This does not mean at any time that we forget about them or do not pay attention to them, but it is clear that we must seek our own spaces and disconnect from work.
– We are psychologists in the consultation room; outside of it, we are just another person, with our dilemmas, our problems, and our sorrows: approach them with curiosity and self-respect. Likewise, seek emotional support from those around you, and avoid those “if you are a psychologist, you shouldn’t feel that way.” It is our profession, not who we are.
– Sleep well, seek leisure and sports activities, and eat properly: if you cannot sleep the recommended hours (between 7 and 9), try to make them pleasant and effective for your rest, putting aside mobile phones and television, and take advantage of this moment to drink a calming infusion, dim the lights, and enjoy the beginning of your rest, being aware of what you are doing in the moment.
Remember that your free hours are for you, and it is important not to disconnect from what you like to do (besides your job): dancing, reading, going to the cinema, going out to dinner, etc. Don’t forget to exercise: any activity that involves physical movement works. We spend many hours sitting and back and head pains begin: learn some yoga movements to stretch and maintain a correct posture, and practice them between each patient. You will notice a significant difference even in your level of attention.
Sometimes we have many patients in a row, we leave the office late, or even work on weekends and/or holidays, and at “odd” hours to adjust to patients’ schedules. This physically and emotionally overloads us, and we need to recover. Try to leave 5 or 10 minutes between patients to unload and close that hour you just had before seeing the next patient. Always keep water, fruits, and small healthy snacks (like nuts) in your office: while you wait for a time when you can sit down to eat, they will keep you hydrated and energized.
– Try never to go to work if you are sick. It may seem obvious, but sometimes we take something to calm the symptoms and carry on. But this only makes us unfocused and little by little we will feel worse. If you are sick, take care of yourself: stay home, eat well, and put work aside for a day or as long as necessary. Do not return to the office until you are fully recovered. Patients will appreciate it; it doesn’t do them any good to see you without energy, and they will surely understand.
– Do relaxation, breathing, and meditation exercises. Not only will we manage to relax after an intense day of work, but we will also be more focused when we need to be. Doing meditation and mindfulness exercises, even in therapy (or in those 5 or 10 minutes between patients), will help us maintain energy, be more empathetic, and practice self-compassion.
Let’s not hide behind the proverb “the shoemaker’s children go barefoot” and let’s take responsibility for our emotional well-being.
Many of these exercises will be very similar to those we propose to patients, so we know how they work in theory. Who better than us to make use of them and give our best in each session and with each patient. ISEP’s Master in Psychotherapy of Emotional Well-being will give you all the necessary tools to work for your patients, but also to work for your own emotional well-being.