It is common nowadays to find children in our consultations with a high degree of impulsivity or with a deficit in the control of their executive functions, showing difficulties in organizing, planning, or structuring a task; as well as in making correct decisions that have been previously elaborated and thought through. Likewise, in many cases, impulsivity arises as a response to poor emotional management, most often an excess of emotion, such as being overexcited or too angry.
When this happens, there is often a strong emphasis on pointing out to children what they have not done well, instead of providing them with alternatives or strategies prior to the moment they act, to help them determine the consequences of what they want to do.If we manage to transform “NOs” into activities or games that are more attractive to them, we will help them experience this difficulty in a more positive way, and we will also be able to strengthen our bond with them.
A very simple and effective activity to achieve this is to use the “Pause” button, which is very useful for stopping a child’s impulsivity just before they perform a behavior that will not be beneficial for them.
This activity is very fun and entertaining for children since the main elements to develop it will be the TV remote control, the television, and our own body (if the activity is carried out by parents at home), and in the consultation, we can use Youtube videos and a computer.
The main objective is to relate the child’s emotional state to their ability to make decisions. To do this, we will base ourselves on making the child understand that, just as we press “pause” when we want to stop a movie, a cartoon, or a video, we can press “pause” on our brain. It is very important that we previously work with them on what situations we will ask them to use it. We can use drawings that show a smiling brain when emotions are well-regulated and a sad brain when emotions are poorly regulated, for example, due to an excess of joy, an excess of anger, or an upset.
After this explanation, we must teach the child that when these emotions are poorly regulated, the brain ends up making a bad decision, as it becomes blocked and doesn’t know what to do.
At this point, it will be very important to have many examples of situations in which the child has experienced what we are telling them, so coordination with the family and the school will be essential for this activity.
Once the story about their brain has been told, it is explained that to remedy this impulsivity, what they need to do is press “pause” on their brain, help it calm down, and make a good decision. At this moment, we start playing a video of one of their favorite cartoons and pause it. Then, we give the child a turn so they can see that they also have this power.
When the child has played with the video for a while, we will get down to business with the more practical part. For this, we will ask them to stand up and start jumping around the office, and when they hear: “PAUSE!” they must stop. We can play for a while and then ask them to do it in reverse, that is, we jump and the child gives us the command to stop.
Finally, after playing this for a while, it’s time to sit down again and teach them that just as we have done with the body, we can do it with the mind. For this, we will tell them that first, their parents will say “pause” when they are about to engage in inappropriate behavior. Once the child has adapted to the new technique, little by little they will be asked to try to do it autonomously, being the one who says “pause” to themselves as a thought.
To ensure that everything is clear, we can revisit all the examples that had been given about situations in which they had not regulated their emotions well and ask them to tell us when they should have used the pause and what alternative behavior they could have used.