Nowadays, families are increasingly larger and more complex: stepfathers, grandparents from the father’s second wife, ex-brothers-in-law… a fact that facilitates the emergence of conflicts. Now, during the Christmas season, when families gather more frequently, we are forced to share a table with that cousin we don’t speak to, or we all end up angry because political topics were discussed during dessert. Raimon Gaja, clinical psychologist, Director of ISEP and author of the book Con la familia bien, gracias (With the family well, thank you), comments that “in a family, it is not mandatory for all members to get along, and no one can be forced to belong to any group, not even the family group” and adds that “broadly speaking, to get along with everyone, it is necessary to maintain a playful sense in family gatherings (a place where most of the friction among the different members of the clan emerges) and to strengthen the feeling of belonging or rootedness.”
After Christmas, visits to psychological consultations increase, partly because this holiday has become a race against time: going from dinner to dinner, from meal to meal at the homes of relatives we don’t want to see; sometimes consuming unnecessarily; or buying gifts more expensive than you can afford creates anxiety. And this Christmas, a new factor comes into play to generate more family conflicts with money as the protagonist: the economic crisis. Gaja comments that “although money doesn’t buy happiness, if you lack liquidity you are more irritable… If you don’t make ends meet or owe money, you have more anxiety… In times of economic crisis, our nerves are more on edge.”
For these holidays to be a true celebration, Gaja assures that success lies in being a person with a flexible structure and open to changes, in respecting the autonomy of each individual, in offering yourself to whoever needs you and, ultimately, in sharing vital experiences and values with those around you.