The World Health Organization (WHO) states that over 1 million people die by suicide each year, while many more attempt it. Suicide is one of the top three causes of death among people aged 15-44 in some countries and the second cause in the 10-24 age group. These figures do not include suicide attempts, which are up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicides.
Currently, one of the risk factors among the causes of suicide in adolescents is the poor management of losses and failures they experience in their lives: the breakup of a relationship, the death of a loved one, the consequences of an illness, their parents’ divorce, academic failure, not having the best body, etc., are some situations that can potentiate suicide attempts during adolescence.
Our society teaches and obliges adolescents to seek and obtain immediate results. We are a society that sells the idea of high expectations, where we cannot give up anything and want to have everything, where failure and suffering are something we should not experience. Overwhelmed by all this, today’s adolescent lacks positive adaptive tools to cope with these situations, as we tend to associate the conquest of certain constant aspirations (usually external) with happiness, and when they are not achieved, it becomes really difficult to overcome.
We live always focused on what we lack, without valuing what we have achieved. Therefore, the lack of adaptive resources to cope with a situation of loss or failure generates thoughts of guilt, unhappiness, and shame in adolescents, as well as self-destructive behaviors (drug use, risky sexual activities, self-harm, etc.) that can lead to suicide.
In a society where values such as ambition, the generation of needs, discontent, and a pathological need for success predominate, it is important to educate adolescents that failure or loss implies pain and suffering. The boy or girl must experience the different nuances of grief, seeking positive adaptation to experience a new reality.
Fostering positive behaviors such as actively listening to the adolescent’s complaints, avoiding making them feel guilty for their failures, not minimizing and respecting their emotions and goals, involving family and friends in constructive dialogue, that is, fostering empathy… are some of the ways we can successfully achieve positive adaptation in grief and reduce suicide attempts.
Therefore, family, educators, and psychology and health professionals must motivate adolescents to have the courage to be imperfect, to recognize that the pursuit of perfection is ephemeral, to provide them with the tools to allow themselves to be vulnerable, that happiness is a state of mind and not something obtained through external achievements and number of possessions, to allow themselves to fail and, from there, create their own adaptive tools for complex situations.